It really isn’t a matter of “if” there will be a Zombie Apocalypse, but rather when it will occur.
One need only read the headlines, watch the TV, and/or surf the Intertubes to see that the time is nigh.
Don’t be caught flat-footed.
Zombies are serious business.
- they are undead and cannot be reasoned with
- they eat brains, scratch, claw, and also eat brains too
- they can’t be bribed
- they don’t even speak English
- they are lacking in the personal hygiene arts
Our Zombie Apocalypse Insurance can’t protect you from any of that, of course, but it will help you* and your surviving family get back on your feet in the post-Zombie Apocalypse Era.
*in the event you do not personally survive the Zombie Apocalypse, no worries! Your coverage will be assigned to the next available kin as indicated.
Imagine the following:
You arrive somewhere and the person or persons you were meeting up with there are there alright but look like they smell bad and don’t even waive when you approach with the tickets in hand for wherever you were going to go with them…
Then, you realize that your car alarm is going off on that car you bought a couple months ago from your friend’s buddy who turned out to be a wee bit scummier than you imagined when you spoke to your friend about him who went on and on about the great deal you’d get on the car you bought from the guy who came highly-recommended from your buddy.
As you turn around, you hear moaning coming from all points. It is then you notice that there appear to be people bumping into your car and other people wandering aimlessly toward the noise coming from the car you bought (like I mentioned above, from that guy).
You start to run toward your car, but stop in your tracks because…
You forgot to get Zombie Apocalypse Insurance from SunAnt Interactive.
Don’t be that guy (or gal or transgendered person)!
Bob, a 42 year old accountant from Buffalo, New York, was able to get his Zombie Apocalypse coverage for mostly nothing at all.
As a father of two, how could I not? I mean what man worth his salt wouldn’t want to cash out after surviving the Zombie Apocalypse?
Vanessa, a 28 year old professional woman from Vancouver, purchased her Zombie Apocalypse insurance policy from SunAnt Interactive a while ago and has this to say:
I used to think Zombies were cool. Until i started thinking about the Apocalypse they (or someone evil) was planning to plan. Then I realized that I needed to be insured against them (and/or the evil behind them).
Meep, from North Salem, NY writes:
Everyone knows to make sure they have enough life insurance. But undead insurance is so often forgotten. My suggestion? Ask your agent when you don’t want to lose a piece of mind.
Really, it’s not so different from any other form of insurance – mostly – except for the more common insurances that aren’t like it.
Call us today for a free, no-obligation quote!
Incessant moaning, broken fences, screaming neighbors and all my newly planted shrub ruined! Thankfully, I had a Sun Ant Zombie Policy. More comforting than a 12 gauge and easier to get than a Katana. I’ll be sitting this Zombie Apocalypse out with a smile. Thanks Sun Ant!!
Micheal – you are very welcome. We saw a need in the marketplace and really think that people (future victims) deserve to have a way to mitigate the downside of the coming apocalypse. It’s our way of giving back to the living community of “breathers.”
I used to shoot targets like coke cans with my dad when I was ltltie. Then I got really good so he’d throw a ball into a stream and I’d have to shoot it while it was moving. So theeen, he thought he had the perfect hunter. He brought me deer hunting and when we finally saw a deer, I stepped on a stick so it would hear us and it ran away. He was a ltltie upset and we haven’t shot guns since. lol-Ariellewww.humblepievintage.com
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I dont know what this means. But we dont mind Germans around these parts. Even spambot germans.
Girl you look all tough and what not. I’ve always wetnad to try and go to the shooting range here but I just haven’t yet. I am slightly scared to death of them but it couldn’t hurt to try my hand at it! I’m on your team when the zombie apocalypse inevitably comes :p
jorja- cardio, lol!lou- it rlleay is more fun than one would think.jenna- yesss, we should totally email each other and make a plan to meet up with all our survivor friends, when the big day comes. and get thyself to a shooting range, asap. these skills will be necessary…miki- ha, not exactly a pro. but perhaps someday.kim- thanks for validating my badass-ness
i was just hoping i didn’t look like a hick (especially with the plaid and all that…)xo
I am excited to have purchased the Firepower Rider ™ which will provide for airlift intervention services, related cover, and annual ammunition inspections. The rate I was quoted seemed to good to be true, so I bought two. Thank you SunAnt.
Bob – we’re happy to have you among our gaggle of more than 3 ppl who have taken advantage of the Firepower Rider ™. Thanks for choosing us.
I made it through the rapture Saturday so I posted yet again about the zombie apocalypse, because it is obviously a very serious thing because the CDC is giving preparation instructions.
My client is growing quite concerned as a result of the numerios recent Z sightings in the foothills and wonders if the polices cover government buildings. He is serving 7 years for tax evasion in Colorado. Are there special endorsements? Is there a payment plan available?
Hay Bob – There is, in fact, a payment plan option available And, we offer special incentives for those who are incarcerated. As for covering Govt Buildings: the plans cover the insured, no matter where they reside.
This is f**king awesome!!!